70 THE ADVOCATE
VOL. 79 PART 1 JANUARY 2021
2. Start in the middle. Start anywhere. Sometimes it feels like there is a
logical order to things and the first milestone is unattainable. For example,
I want to run a marathon, but I need to get in shape. Or I want to
change jobs or careers, but I don’t know what I want to do. There
appears to be a long list of steps in the process of effecting change. If
you’re overwhelmed and don’t know where to start, just pick one thing
that you can accomplish instead of choosing what you think has to go
first. Often, you will gain momentum from the small actions taken.
3. You can do anything for 15 minutes. When you embark on making a
change, don’t set yourself up to make a huge change at the outset. For
example, don’t say you’re all of a sudden going to exercise for an hour
a day. Tell yourself that you will go for a 15-minute walk and it counts.
Or say to yourself, “I can work on this challenging memo for 15 minutes
and that counts.” Literally set a timer and just do 15 minutes of the
behaviour or activity you’d like to change or adopt. You are not giving
up your expectations; you are just changing them. You’re setting a bar
that you can reach.
4. Don’t overthink it. Just do it. Many lawyers overthink things because
we tend to be perfectionistic and we don’t want to miss anything. Sometimes
that can paralyze us when trying to overcome or change anything
about our lives. Rather than understanding the nuances of every
change you want to make, just start moving. As you make small
changes, new truths appear, new ideas will come to you, your creativity
will be ignited and all of this will help you move forward. You will start
to gain clarity. You cannot map everything out. Some things in reality
are different than they look on paper. Better to just have a simple list
and notes about the things you want to accomplish or the changes you
want to make and then start to make them. After seeing what the
results are, you can recalibrate as you go along.
5. Walk away. Do something else for a while. Sometimes we need to take
a break and just relax or focus on other areas in our life where we are
not stuck. Just because we feel there are changes we need to make in
our life doesn’t mean we need to focus on them all the time. Take a step
back and regroup. We can sometimes be so serious about our goals that
we forget to have fun and enjoy life. Don’t always have your eyes on
the horizon at some future point. Take time in the moment to appreciate
the present.
Dealing with Negative Thoughts About Being Stuck
When we are stuck, we tend to slip into negative thinking. Feeling stuck can